So, yesterday was finally the day when the 5 judges selected 3 ideas out of 15 (1 person already resigned), for funding a documentary short film.
Due to being scared as a frightened bunny, I left my preparations to last-minute 11 pm Friday night.
In the end it didn’t matter: the BBC Gail Fraser, Mark Cousin, the Edinburgh College of Art representative = Bridging the GAP rep, the Maverick TV production company rep, the Channel4 rep, selected the 3 lamest ideas you could think of: technology/implants; ice-cream, and headscarves.
I was pretty sure that they would select one idea of every one of the categories. They never spoke of categories, but in the end, there were ice-cream, chips, chicken and egg, and table manners, which all seem to relate to food,
there was football1, football2, speed dating, reggae and dub,
I guess technology was pretty much a category on its own, and then there was loosely the political and social doc proposals, in which mine, the anti-war, the parliament, the old peoples home, and maybe the hygiene one’s cornrows (slightly social-personal-political), the headscarves (slightly social-political-personal) and the flossing (personal).
So in the end, my competition was probably limited to the social and political themes, but in any way, I guess they picked the lamest and most harmless one.
In the end, it is mainstream media and what else would you expect?
Mainstream Media is not a charity, they don’t want to change society, they don’t want to empower people and surely enough they don’t want to even criticism society.
They don’t want to broadcast anything controversial, so they just stuck to the most harmless idea, which is the personal view of the headscarf wearer, I wonder why they didn’t pick neurotic mornings, but I think it might be, because it sounded too boring.
Anyway I went in front of the judges and ranted along and I think I did a good job, because I got everything on one DinA4 sheet and also I answered exactly all the points and criteria they had, and it was an easy film to make, so I wonder why they don’t want to make it?
Personally, I can only think of one thing which has stopped them selecting my film: my strong anarchist believes.
I am sure in the end, they did not want to dare any Indymedia style film, they did not want to have any political statements made, and I and the film were deemed too unpredictable for them.
The other main thing is, I guess they already had decided beforehand, which films they wanted to make.
They didn’t ask me vital questions, like: how would i make the transition from colour to black and white, how would I have planned to use the budget.
I was already astonished, that they put so much praise on the technology idea when it was pitched in the arts college at Mark Cousins documentary workshop.
And they didn’t ask me any questions at the pitch.
Also, Aveline’s ice-cream pitch was very good, the first time when she read out the poem.
Maybe my giggling throughout the pitch didn’t help.
Anyway, in some way it was a big disappointment, because how can I make my short films, if I don’t have any funding, and any support?
But, in the end, I was totally torn if I wanted to have any of the support they had on offer at all? Because in the end it is mainstream media, and I clearly kind of stated, that I wanted to have authenticity and I guess that is a totally foreign word for them. They probably didn’t even know authenticity exists. They probably also wanted to have uncomplicated people to work with, on which they can impose their idea, I guess they realised, that it wouldn’t be possible with me.
I hope I get a more detailed feedback, but in any case, I think I learned a lot. I will try to ask the local community TV project, Pilton Video to help me out and support me by borrowing out the camcorder, and one of the film students of Napier said, she would help me to realise my films, too.
Anyway, after the pitch, I got slightly drunk, with the other 7 finalists who were there. I haven’t got drunk for a long time and actually, it was a waste of money, especially as I had a meeting afterwards, but it helped me to calm down and to get excited at the same time, and maybe I made some good connections with socialising in the pub.
Gladly enough, I got something else to think about:
The Lost Film Fest is coming to Edinburgh! Next Friday! In the Forest Cafe!
And, happily enough, I guess if I wouldn’t have put so much effort and interest and enthusiasm in it, it might not have happened.
I love to think I make a difference, a difference in the world, and in being here in Edinburgh and by being in Scotland, and that it is worth the time, the loss of money and success, that the way of life I walk is meaningful and the effort relevant.
I love to think that Indymedia makes a difference, Indymedia Uk and Indymedia Scotland. Hopefully, it does.